Today, dah genap 10 tahun pemergian Arwah Tokbah..
How time flies, and time tu adalah, hari yang paling sedih, tak percaya, boleh kata cam tak nak terima jugak la ngan keadaan dan macam2 la rasa masa tu. It was the 1st death in my immediate family, and Tokbah was everything to me.
I was in Sabak at that time, just like today... it was raining in the morning... The moment I got home around 1.30pm, I immediately called home and asked how he was doing. That moment, he was just having a chat with my auntie and uncle.. I could still hear his voice..
Around 3pm, Mom called again, and this time she was serious and wanted to speak to my uncle straight away. Then, I knew.. it was time.
A very short time of 3 months, knowing that I will not see him again... and whats worse is that... all the plans I had for him and Maktok once Ive started earning my own money was... just crushed!
Anyhow, I count myself lucky to have all the time in my childhood days to spent it with him. And I remember, I was at his place during the whole Ramadhan that year... managed to pujuk him to go shopping for himself. See, mom have a credit card for him to use tapi dia tak pernah nak guna.. so I jadi orang tengah la.. lama giler nak suruh dia gi shopping tapi tak nak je selalu... last2 he agreed just to go tempah only ONE pants. hehe. Well, ok... kita deal kat situ jer. Almost everyday time puasa tu.. I was with him to cari menu air utk buka puasa... Air mata kucing is one of his favourite.
Sampai skang, I will always fikir... my life would be different if he's still around. Lebih terjaga. and Gosh, lebih masalah la Amin time nak gi dating. ahaha. kawalan ketat wooo..! heh...
Tokbah, will always be missed.
Semoga rohnya sentiasa di cucuhri rahmat. Amin.
Al-fatihah.
Oh, exactly one year ago, I experienced my 1st miscarriage. It wasnt a nightmare, but, somehow it did made me down emotionaly but why the hell should i show it to the world kan?Me no drama queen yg nak simpati telling the world ngan citer dongeng fantasy dorang or even to in my blog. If youre a mother, or who have been through the same situation, would undertand. Some being insensitive and gave me remarks. Hmph. But, screw them. Im now menghitung hari of the arrival of this little new meaning of my life. :D
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