shut it

Almost everynite, its the same...

I get to go to bed all upset or superly bengang of sumthing... 

Arghh... when will this end? 

I was on MC yesterday... had a pretty bad backache and the hips pun sakit and its killing me.. hehe.. ok la, not that bad, but still i walk a bit terjongket2... er, somehow, I read bout it tadi... its about time la i shud be sakit2 suma tu.. hmm.. and gosh I was sooooo soo tired... i hardly can sit for long.. I need a place to baring jer... what do u know, I'll reaching my 8th month prenancy this Thursday... Aii aii aii.. time flies huh? 

And as my tummy is still small for a 8th month preggy, ppl ASSUME that i am all energetic like how i used to, and even if i 'look' all that... tapi some ppl shud tau la, deep inside, how strong i want myself to be... I get tired easily and cungap2, hips dont lie ni sakit.. ok? So just dont dump me with all the workload and shittss...! 

ive also learned to keep my mouth shut... yea yea... i learned this from evaluating some stuff that I have gone thru in a few weeks..  talk means nuthing.. cos, nobody LISTENS..! all they think about is how bad life is to them.. and how great and most importantly is how much they'll gain in doing something... and be all calculative to wat they will loose for doing/not doing something for others... 

its a cruel, cruel world we are living out there...  - and someone even told me a few months after i got married- to not have kids and bring them into life that is so unfair and 'makin teruk' by day... which I can just whisper to myself, how @#$%#$^ can a person think that way kan? Child are our responsiblity.. as parents to teach and guide them to be a responsible person and hamba Allah.. taat pada ibu bapa, agama, Allah dan kepercayaan... and more! but, lets not go there, thats a different story.. not that I will listen to their advise lagi pun.. :P 

with work.. i dun mean to be all negative and shits.. but I kindda got fed up with unfairness.. got a lil tired and semangat that I used to have to wake up in the morning and wanted to be the very best I could.. its all gone.. i dun want to keep blaming the pregnancy hormones.. tapi, issit? Or mmg real that I am tired with what I do? 

Ive talked with a few ppl... bout it.. I guess, its not helping la.. coz, I guess, what I did was blah blah blah... complaining...! So here again, I learned to keep it to myself.. not worth it... somehow, ppl will get the wrong impression u know.. cam la org lain takde masalah... so baik je la diam eh? 

Anyhow, during Amin's bday.. we went to OU for dinner.. Amira came along..  Amin was still eating.. tapi kedai nak tutup dah.. :P I voluntered to go to the ATM and cucuk duit all by myself.. 

Other shops were closing too.. so there are a group of ppl, who works together... and ckp bye2 la sesama sendiri... and some just took their time to walk and a guy jalan sgt la cepat.. we both guna jln sama masa tu.. he was rushing.. im guessing nak kejar bas nak balik tu kan.. sgt la cpt dia jalan.. and made me rasa sgt syukur with the work im doing... and the lil life that I have.. 

Imagine, this guy.. of coz la ada shift kerja kan... kata la pun dia masuk keja at 12pm, and then starts working.. jual baju kan.. everyday almost the same... rite? the ppl that he works with lagi la takde cam the professional levels.. and alot more craps and talking nonsense- being malaysian la kan.. gossip jer ker.. and then ada boss yg sure bising to make sale...! they cant gayut during work time.. nak online lagi jauh kan? how many breaks dia ada? how many hours in the day dia dapat to duduk? kerenah customer yg macam2 and lebih lagi kurang ajar...? at 10pm, he has to rush to get into the bus untuk balik.. kalu tak, kena tunguu ntah baper lama lagi to get another bus... dah sampai umah, rumah pulak ntah camna keadaan...? tau tau jer nak tido... tak sempat apa dah.. and then esok pagi, mungkin menda yg sama lagi... end of the month... kadang2 gaji tak setimpal kerja and masa yg dia korbankan... berapa lama lagi dia nak kerja camni utk hidup dia lebih senang?

Aish... yes, Syukur dengan apa yg kita ada... ngan apa kita lakukan.. Alhamdulillah.. no matter how tired I get with work sometimes.. semuanya masih cukup... tak pernah pulak, tak makan seminggu, mahupun sehari... Alhamdulillah, dengan rezeki ini... 

I got a 9-5 job.. have a comfortable car to go and forth to work- theres no need to wait for a bus or depend on anyone to fetch me... house to office is less than half an hour drive.. i get to eat lunch everyday tho the price agak mencekik at times... officemates yg best suka2 gelak... boss who doesnt bising when i come in late or ask me to do more sales.. i get to use the fone and online as much as i can... im able to say anything to defend myself... gaji, alhamdulillah.. makin awal skang.. :P my own desk with my own PC..  freedom of semahyang kat dlm opis, freedom nak lunch baper lama.. freedom utk byk menda sebenarnya.. lets not think of the downside that much... its pretty good already.. :) 

Ive learned, again and again... to just keep quiet and count my blessings... 

but, of coz, as a human being.. I will keep my options open for something better.. look out for a better position and benefits for myself, family and the lil one...

ive almost sampai to my target on staying in the company for at least two years...  

so.. im keeping quiet bout everything thats going on with watever it is in the office.. defending anyone, or apa apa je la.. coz in the end... rasanya... i will be the one yg look bad.. i will be the one with the big mouth.. coz, yeah... word spreadss......... even your only intention is all good... tapi kalau dah berjalan jauh... mau jadi lain... kan? sebab kadang2, when we ckp ngan sorang tu jer, ingatkan hati... antara berdua jer la.. biler dah sampai pulak ke telinga org lain.. agak tension la gak rasanya... so, pasni mmg senyap je la... 

my only concern will be my own stuff... and of coz, I will always lend a hand, anytime! but to a certain limit..  ill go MUTE!

till someone listens... 

non work related, im tired of giving advises to ppl who ASKED for it.. but never listen.. and come back to me and tell me wat shud they do... oit, penat wey! you ask, i give, u do it again, and back to me listening and keep giving you the same advise... 

we are all old enough here... i cant be the one who has to be strong for you.. back u up... give ur ding dong brain a 'buzz' cam kat YM tu everytime you make the same mistake.. ive had it! deal with your own problem yourself... 

i used to pick up the fone and call me besties and crrryyyyyyyyy to them pasal apa apa je jadi... be it gaduh ngan bf ker.. apa apa jer.. at some point, I got the hint or terasa sendiri ke... 

org takkan nak dgr citer masalah ko yg sama tu je la... and it got me all strong and face everything on my own.. how it will turn up... its my decision... and after all its my life...

no, im not saying that they dont care, coz they do... i will call them up and ask for company... dont talk bout it... just go out and do our thing... crying over it to others, will not help... 

just that... i was in the 20s... kalau masih nak depend ngan org... and nangis atas bahu kawan selamanya... hmm.. biler nak kuat? 

pick up yourself... and fix the problem.. haf dignity in your own life.. haf some pride in choosing what best for you... not everyone will be able to BE THERE - FOREVER!

Masanya sudah tiba...

The nite before patutnya pi beli the baby stuff, but Amin balik laambatttt naa....!! 

So semalam je la, we all pegi breakie kat nasi lemak SS2, then he sent me to work.. God knows how lazy I was. Hehe.. while at work, I finished everything that I should. At almost 5pm... Amin amik la from work. 

We straight went to Mothercare @ The Curve, lagi pun hujan dah mula lebat semacam... The baby box- Swimming Hippo yang we wanted to buy, cam tak baper elok pulak conditionnya.. coz its the diplay set, and Amin thinks its a bit expensive for a box like dat.. hmm ok, nevermind... we thot that we just go search for some kind of box like dat yg alot cheaper... 

Then our 2nd item to beli was the Green Car Blue fitted sheet mmg jadi la, hehe.. i was so excited and dia tinggal only one piece ni jer.. hehe yeay! SO HAPPY! and it look so so cute! Kan? It also has a long bumper set but it was so expensive.. and the short pulak, so short dah la our cot tu cam the ends are already fully covered. So I guess, takde beza kot..? unless la, it will be placed at the one side tepi, where the opposite ada pintu tu kan.. tu kan? Hm maybe, lets just see... We are planing to keep the cot empty.. just the mattress, no pillow and teddies when the baby is inside... only a cute mobile hanging! :) 

Sorry la, quality agak kurang, as I had to use my fone... 

Since dah tak beli box, we bought this sleepsuits for the lil one.. :) beli from 3-6 months punya... kindda besar la pulak size dia.. :P but but its so cute! We will get one two yg a bit cheaper kat sini, for us to bring to the hospital nanti... 

Dah settle di Mothercare, we all pun went to our next destination.. pegi Babyjaya kat Uptown.. here to buy the baby cot! hehe... kitaorg pun cari2 like blankets, swaddling clothes and the changing mat... tapi, fikir punya fikir, we are shopping on bdget kan.. so, its like.. mana yg rasa imprtant now, and yg can just go grab them later... Amin can go buy sendiri pun takper... pluplus I cant find a nice nice ones..! 

Tapi muslin squares je yg yang ada... tu pun RM49 tapi ada 12pcs la.. this is like the multipurpose kain kan.. nak ikat bengkung pun boleh.. nak lap2 pun boleh.. nak wat alas pun boleh.. :P So, I bought this, so senang jer la.. use this one first and later2 kalau perlu.. add summore with other towels, blankets or watever... 

Babycot dah settle, before pegi, we knew already mana satu yg nak beli... we bought this one which is called Natalys, and since its on sale.. its now RM688.00 with 3' Latex Matttress brand Bumble Bee.. originally it was RM748.00... so, kira ok la tu... the best deal i got.. walau dah pusing satu Damansara Area nih kan? :P So we are happy.. 

And this is how the cot looks like... :) me likey! Also, if you are interested. check out the website here

Dah bayar apa suma, sekalikkk.. tak muat keta daaa.. i wanted to call my brother to help dia mana da keta yg yang boleh muat kan.. Amin pulak rupanya dah call Amira and she was willing to help.. Thank you so much, Amira.. :) 

Singgah sat kat Taman Tun sbb Amin teringin nak makan durian and then terus la ke rumah my parents... angkat2 barang suma.. and then mom dah siap masak... :) She masak for us daging masak cili and ketam sup..! SOdaPP!! wat can I say kan...? The 5 of us pun makan.. :) 

While makan, I told my mom pasal the baby box tu, refer as Alia's baby box.. dia ingat and tanya "yang design baru punya takde ker?" hhehe harus la ada kan.. Alia pun dah umur baper, takkan dia tak tukar2 lagi kan? Mom asked how much, and I told her la RM 132..  a bit the mahal we tot.. and she replied... 

"Takper, mama belikan nanti"

Wooo hooo!! yeay yoo!! TQ TQ! Ive emailed the pic of baby box so she knows la yg mana... :) 

I showed her all the bajus and everything that I have in the box... seriously, tau tak.. walaupun just the baju yg i tinggalkan there.. Im missing the box of bajus already..! huhu... walaupun la baju jer!! Uwaa!! kalau tidak asik la membelek kan..? :P Kalau dah kuar anak tu, tak tau la camna kan? Imagine la, time nak gi kerja nanti... Uwa! 

I even nak pi mintak Amin pasang the katil siap2... heeh gelojoh...! My parents said, no need la.. let it all be in the kotak... simpan elok2... I have at least sebulan lagi kan? :P And they said, they will make the room for me and everything.. I think its kindda nice... Told me not to worry, Abah & Johan will set up the cot.. :) Sweet! I just can't wait...! They didnt even want Amin to help to carry the cot naik atas.. :P Johan and Abah will do that later... What can I say? My family is the best! 

Oh, their cat, Heidi pun dah beranak.. 2 lil kittens.. and both colour grey + white.. So cuteee!! Heidi sgt la gelojoh...! heheh tak tentu arah mana nak letak anak dia... :) 

We stayed till 12am.. sbb tgk AF, I didnt like this one as much.. coz maybe the lagu2 lama2.. :P but Hafiz and Isma did well..! As usual... :) 

Allritey... thats all for now... I gotta get ready for alot of things to be done today! 

xoxo

Tirai AF7

So, ppl... here is the story I was telling you about.. bout work that I cant reveal.. 

For this year punya AF7, they called me up and enquired bout our place.. bout having their Orientation Week here... Just because our place is so perfect for them, secluded from the kekecohan manusia.

I went back and forth to meet my Md, for him to approve this event Alhamdulillah, thanks to him, he agreed.  Then it was back for me with the ASTRO ppl so prepare and plan their needs and secret routes to their rooms. hehe. 

It was fun.. the whole one week, I must say, they are just one of my bestest clients.. coz, they hardly bising bout anything.. just tell them once, what we have and dont have.. our procedure yada yada... and well, everything just went soo sooo smoothly.. 

Cikgu2 yg came to our place was Acis, Fatimah Abu Bakar, Siti Hajar and Ida Nerina.. 

Apa apa pun, I wanna say thanks to my operation team for all their help. Everyone was happy of the outcome, hehe.. we all sgt la secretive.. thats how much we care... unit bangunan pun kitaorg tak bgtau tau.. hehe.. told them it was just ASTRO meeting stuff... hehe.. nasib la! 

Yesterday, was their last day at our place.. and Sarimah, one of the host, but the main host for TIRAI AF7, came to our office to do the host-links- if you what that is! hehe... I must say, she's pretty frenly... Serious! The girls in my office wanted to amik gambar, tapi segan la pulak, hehe, so I asked Jay(one of the crew) to help out la..  she pun ok ok jer nak gambar.. 

Check out our pics down here... hehe.. berlakon2 kat our receptionist punya counter... hehe

From left; Me ( soo faaatt loorrr), Patty, Ina, Sarimah, Sue (tongkat sorok ker?) and Haizan

Nanti tgk ya Tirai AF 7 malam ni.. hehe.. I know its at channel 104, but not sure wat time.. 830-900 tu try jeer la tgk... hehe 

All last week!

Last week has been quite bz I must say... tho writting bz kat situ, wat me thinking, busy watper sebenarnya kan?

Last Monday, Kak Nany and I got lunch invitation from our cousin Nana. Dia nak belanja makan. We had lunch kat Madam Kwan's.. it was great to catch up with my cousins... dah lama dah since wey gielr laamaaa laa since the 3 of us melepak and catch up with each other.. dulu2 jumpa kat ss2.. and we all pernah kerja bersama pun.. hehe.. all in all, we had fun! Thanks so much to Nana for belanjaing us, next will be mine ok? korang pulak drive ker Soho nanti ya? eheh..

with work, I finished up everything I could as soon as possible, learnt that well, the hard way not to delay2 stuff to the last minute... heh... well, at least it will make me occupied during work day... if not takde la bz mana sgt pun... and if i dun get busy with things, mula perasaan malas2.. ish, tak best..! so, secara bangganya, I have no pending work everytime I get back back home...

Hahahah... nuthing u say?

Its a big deal to me! hehe.. Suka lambat2 kan, merapu online segala dulu baru la nak wat kerja.. So Alhamdulillah. Im more relaxed now. Somehow. Ada yg boss bising2, cam pagi tadi.. hmm siap kan menda tu dulu, walau tak nampak pentingnya.. janji dia sonyap! 

Last Tuesday, I had my appraissal... how was it? I was superly nervous an hour before my turn... one thing because, when I was getting ready.. make up la, my MD likes us to lawa2.. hehe.. and then Ms HR came to my table and I asked her wat time I patut masuk.. she said, they might postpone the appraissal sbb boss dah bz and ada appointment later at 3pm. 

So, camna pun, dah pakai bedak, terasa rugi la pulak kan? So habis kan jer la make up sampai ke lipstick... hehe.. hmm sbb berkira sgt, last2 the bedak case patah! Uwa, nasib la bedak tu tak.. SO positive kan diri... buat jer renovation... So dah siap....

Back to the story, when I heard Ms HR kata tak jadi, I was relieved la.. happy jer... nak wat menda lain la plak... kan? 

Sekali she came back and told me

"Sha, 2pm eh turn ko"

Terus gugup segala hati, jantung and confident level down terus! Cesh! Dah tak tenteram.. ntah apa yg takutkan sgt.. I dunno, I mean I worked my ass off.. its proven to how much I can do... and my achievements to this date... Aceh, bukan poyo, but I tak patut nak nervous la kan... 

Then, I went to ask my department mate, who did his the day before...he kata no hal la.. no bigie and yada yada... a simple thingy and i shud not worry, as Im the one with more events.. haha.. tau takperrr.....

Then it was was 2pm, kuatkan diri and gosh I dunno why I was so nervous.. heeh.. and then, appraissal yg sgt relax.. it was just a chat with my MD.. nuthing much, just telling me his plans for us.. and there will definitely be an increment..! Woo Hoo! Saying and understands that I will be having a baby soon and my husband, just started working at a new place. How sweet of him. :) 

So goodie, everything else bout work, is under control. alot is going on, but, I cant reveal anything yet.. I got to sign an agreement with them that I will haf to keep everything P & C, for now... hehe... I hope that will turn out good, at least in my resume.. hihi.. 

Oh, did i tell you? I so so want to quit my job at some point in life and be a housewife where I can be with my kids 24/7... and give them everything they need tau. but, when I think bout it, I rasa takleh kot.. unless I can start a business from home thing.. but, as I fikir punya fikir.. nah, I cant. Lain la kalau i kawin ngan anak raja kan? Heh, financial will never be an issue ( i think!) tapi, my parents have worked hard all their lives to give me the best education they can for me (and my bro too!)... they sacrificed alot. They helped us go thru it, anyway they can.. i know they pernah susah, but kasi jer anything I needed for skool... sampai la ke Degree ni ha.. they didnt just leave us terbengkalai ngan masalah2 samapi tak dpt habiskan belajar kan. So, again, Im so thankful for their sacrifices. I will work hard, to repay in anyway possible utk my parents, my kids and my relatives who has helped me all my life. 

On the weekends pulak, On Saturday tu la, after work, we went to pick up amin's car at the bengkel and straight back home to send my semput car for him to rest.. hehe. sian dia.. and then pegi ke Party World utk beli presents and balloons for Amin's uncle.. aritu, nak visit dia, he's not feeling too good. We had a good time looking for the best balloon decoration we could find. Tho, I dun realy know his uncle that well, but I must say that wish that he will get well soon. Cam rasa sayang la kan.. and I know how it feels like.. I had my late grand dad who suffered with it gak dulu, I cant bear to be with him in the room and see him in pain. Everytime I was with him, mmg cekal kan hati gak la, so I will be there with him in his last days.. So, this time, I truly hope that Bapak will recover soon. Insyallah. 

On the good news part pulak, my childhood fren, Ekki, gave birth to a heatlhy baby girl on Friday. Her name is Qisya Maia Cinta. Another fren to my lil kid kan? hehe.. Congratulations to her, hubby and the rest of the family. 

On that same day, 20-02-09, is the 7th year that my late Nenek passed away. I still remember, in the car I told my parents that 20-02-2002 is a very nice date, and said "hari apa la tu nanti kan?" well, it was actually one of the saddest day in my life.. the whole family gak la. We didnt expect, but Im so happy that my grandma's wish came true. That is to meninggal kat Mekah. I can still clearly remember, how happy she was biler dia tau that she dpt pegi Mekah time tu. and how happy she was masa the last gathering with her. I miss her. I miss her Kurma Ayam, she's the only person yg masak the best Kurma.. no one can ever lawan! hehe.. I miss her laughter, and I also miss the way she tried her very best to start a conversation with me. hehe.. me no talkative type even with my own grandma.. hehe.. mcm2 soalan dia tanya... and also the day she diri depan grill umah dia, and tgk i amik gambar in her garden for my photography project. oh, also the times when i drove and brought her to the hospital... how can i ever forget... Al-fatihah. 

Sunday pulak, we woke up as early as 8am(ok ok tu Amin, I was so penat I woke up at 9am), terus bangun and kemas umah... hehe.. mmg giler kaw kaw.. Amira helped to cook her lasagne.. and then at 4pm, Auntie Anin, Jess and Kak Juju came to our place. Wah, first time la makcik yg dtg umah.. heheh.. we had fun, tgk tv and borak2 and waited for my parents.. dorang pulak at 7pm.. just few minutes at my place and then terus ke Jom Santai.. dinner di sana pulak... I had alot of fun! Sian jer dorang, Auntie Anin sakit tekak, batuk2 and all.. Jessie pulak gastric.. sian.. 

Byk gak menda jadi kan? hehe.. oh citer i jer yg meleret? Hehe.. Bye! 

INTRADE^ 08

Since my bosses found out that I am pregnant, mereka telah cuba utk meringankan my beban of work. Hehe Also everyone else was so helpful. Thanks everyone.

So this time around, I was not so much involved physically with INTRADE^ and was not allowed to even pegi to the tentage.. Which, so jauh and you know walking at this time of pregnancy might harm me or.. hm lets not say it la. But, however, still was so pening during KLI^TF and OC where I cant just stand still to make sure that everything else was in order.

None of my clients, knew that I was pregnant. Ceh, malas want to say. Like asking to pity ker apa kan. I'll help around as much as I can. But I do limit myself la... from walking too much... or beriya2 move around...

But as much as we try to make every event a perfect one... well, never will la. I mean, we all worked hard... everyone was. But, when it comes to the third party ker, then kena beserah la kan. Plus, must believe in Qada' & Qadar ya? We can only plan... I cant hide it, I was pretty dissapointed.

There was this time, when my client said that she mentioned to me that Tun^Mahathir who was the keynote speaker... requested for a brand of coffee (less caffine ker apa) for him. Masyallah.. I seriously can't remember her telling me... another client kata mmg she did informed dpn dia lagi... tapi seriously I tak ingat lansung.. aiishh.. sabar jer la.. being pregnant pun boleh jadi forgetful ker? hehe.. Alasan!

Maybe she did... the info just slipped off kot... hmm whatever...! Tun's ppl brought a few packet for him... so, selamat la... plus, time Tun dah nak turun for the Coffee Break baru la org tu teringat... ceshh...

Lain kali... be professional skit ya wahai org2 gomen atau semi gomen... EMAIL! os SMS! so with that you can tembak me if I lupa... tau.. cakap mulut dah takde makna di dunia IT ini...

I was so excited that this was my chance to meet my... hmm Idol ker? hehe.. someone I admire so dekat2.. I might get to ckp with him kan.... but suma tuh patahkan semangat terus... I didnt even sibuk nak masuk the room during the Press Interview... I just biar the operation jer.. MALAS tau!

Dpt tengok him from far pun dah happy... :) Maybe just not my luck la... wanted to salam and take pic with him.. aiishh... nvm, be positive and hopefully I'll get the chance to meet him again... kan?

Pastu ada another client of mine.. and from the same comp... ajak pegi to his event room to entertain his clients... apparently they are number 2 terel in the world... so they nak make sure they all happy and nak fix and test projector la... padahal event dia esok...

and he cant haf the otak that everyone from my side is busy with this big event that is going on?. My my my... So since I was so pissed and it was not my problem for them to kipas their clients... SO i just told him off... hahah... they did not make ANY kind of appoinment and arrangement with me beforehand... and I was the person in charge for KLITF^ yg tgh going ON gak.... I told him to wait at least an hour for us to get back to them...

Ya la... time KLITF^ plak tgh break... kan? its only fair kan for me and most importantly... for my crew yg tgh kerja kan? ish ish.. nasib baik he agreed.. I dun care la dia manager ker apa situ.. dun susahkan for your own good tau tak.. ish so typical of them...! GEram!

Yang bestnya... we haf a booth, managed by Farah and Haizan... hehe menjadi tempat lepak la.. hehe.. decorated by Shah. Focusing more on our wedding package...

Esok is the last day... hmm.. cam lega kan? tapi lepas ni akan kecoh pasal menda lain pulak... hehe.. the billing... wat invoice.. If I have missed anything kan? Nasib baik client dlm bangunan sama.. hehe..

Ok la.. me hungry... tata!

Ohh... Jessie is coming back soon.. so yeay!!! Yaya also... yeayyy yoo!